Life Choice Machine

If ones life is a continuous series of “if – then” statements, some choices we make are going to be small and insignificant while others will completely alter the course of our lives in a major way. It is precisely for these types of life altering decisions that I would like to present the idea of the:

Life Choice Machine

Imagine being a woman with two seemingly perfect suitors vying for your hand in marriage. This would be a truly nerve wracking situation under any circumstance, however with the Life Choice Machine (LCM), one could simply visit any of the 1,000+ Life Box locations in their metropolitan area. By following these simple steps your decision is as good as made:

  1. Write the names of the suitors on one of the available LCM-Decision slips
  2. Enter a dollar into the bill accepter and when prompted
  3. Feed the slip into the LCM.

Moments later you receive a printed receipt indicating the name of the winning suitor as well as a percentage of success based on “Higher Power” algorithms and quantum analytics.

Every response is guaranteed to be the best choice for that individual within a seven year cycle of “life-time”. If you are deciding between two jobs, medical treatments, colleges, or even vacation destinations the LCM is going to provide you with the best decision possible.

Thanks to the LCM the quality of life for all people will be markedly improved. With rash decisions taken out of the equation, people will be more able to enjoy happy and more productive lives. It’s not required that you take the advice of the LCM, you are free to make all the unwise decisions you’d like, however there can be no pursuit of litigation should you choose not to heed the advice of the LCM. (Please note the “Disclaimer of Usage” found on the reverse side of every LCM-Decision Slip.

As with all devices intended for good, there will be the criminal element who seeks to find the best opportunity to capitalize on an illicit venture. Fortunately for all of us however, the LCM would already be aware of the users intent and prevent them from using the device for unproductive ends. They would receive a refund of their dollar as well as a list of local help centers that offers pertinent counseling.

As a child you believed you’d have all the answers when you grew up just as your parents seemed to know everything, only to find out that the confusion you had as a child is a lifelong condition. The LCM allows you to capture some of that parental wisdom while simultaneously retaining the spontaneity of life.

With the Life Choice Machine – you can be confident in knowing you’ve made a wise and prudent decision.


Mr. Black

~ by fblack2 on May 27, 2008.

One Response to “Life Choice Machine”

  1. I’m sold! Is there a money back guarantee if I am not completely satisfied? Or maybe I could use your displacement button (if advancements have been made to send people to the past) then I could choose option 2 if I’m not completely satisfied.

    Mrs. Black

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