Genetically Transferable Knowledge

Hello Friends, Today I offer for your consideration what may be the most important upgrade to “Everything 2.0” of them all.

Genetically Transferable Knowledge (GTK)

As any parent of a prepubescent knows – children actually think that they know everything. There is no scenario so amazing that would cause them to admit even the slightest lack of knowledge of any topic when questioned by a parent. It is a sad failure of our kind that wisdom is only achieved through hands on experience.

But those days of children blindly running into the street without a care in the world are over. Now, thanks to the optional GTK patch, you as parents now have the option of gifting your newborn child with your entire life’s worth of experience and wisdom. By logging onto you can create a fully customizable database of important life’s lessons. Starting with the 10 commandments, you can even pull from a stock of commonly used nuggets of wisdom such as:

  1. You’ll shoot your eye out with that thing
  2. If little jimmy jumped off the bridge would you do it too?
  3. it’s not polite to stare

And many more.

The real benefit of this patch is that you can choose the level of wisdom your child has – give it too much and you’ll have a kid afraid to take a risk, too little and you wind up having to teach all of lifes lessons from scratch – hoping not to miss any. Imagine having a child that really understands the dangers of drug addiction, or how risky unprotected sex can be. Your child will never burn down your house, talk to strangers, or come home with a relationship you’re totally against.

They say youth is wasted on the young, but now it doesn’t have to be thanks to GTK.

As your wisdom is passed on to successive generations, the world in turn will become a smarter wiser place to live in.


Mr. Black

~ by fblack2 on February 4, 2008.

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